One thing I really hate

People who can't make up their mind.


I do that alot too, but not last minute.


And I am very very frustrated right now I could rip my hair out and not be sorry....well for the moment.


GOSH make up your mind!!!!!! so we can get this flippin project over and done with instead of choosing things that are worth nothing and you realize this AFTER everything is done.


GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life in general= unknown

Sometimes I wonder why everything has to be so slow at one time and then so fast and quick your heartbeat never slows until you are asleep. especially when you are trying to catch a couple of minutes of silence or peacfulness by eating out with someone or trying to calm yourself down before you burst into tears or hysterics. lovely.

it's great to know that there are other people who can relate and pray and support you, but it sucks in another way because no one else understands and even if you tell them they'll give you the "im sorry" crap.

Like they will ever know what it's like. Then they will yell at you"it happened to me too" Then give me EMPATHY and sympathy you bakano-poo.

because I am just so jumbled, I think I'll write another free-verse/lyric? I don't care...

It was just another Saturday

going downtown

just driving away

There was nothing wrong with me

but then what the heck happened

why am i like this now

it's all Saturday's fault.

truely, the fault is thine.

Saturday was just ordinary

nothing was really going on

but then it happened

and I cried all night long

on the inside, as my tears poured out of my eyes

nothing in that place could cure me

for what that's worth

In that place

it's still hard to call it home

so many times I've tried and wanted to run away

can it really be my home that way?

So many people frustrate me

and others just make my sad

but none of those experiences

can add up for this demise.

Also in that place

there are many whom I love

and care for

and would pray with all my heart to

just so they would smile

there is also them

who lift up my gloomy day

But then how is it that I

am just weary and mad?

how is it that I can be

so cruel and mean

so selfish and prideful

and still proclaim to be who I am supposed to be?

No one on this earth can save me

only the one above can lift me from the ground

Let Him be the one

to guide someone else

to save my life.

Inside I am dying.

Inside I am breaking.

Inside I hide all the pain.

Inside I bear all the looks

of hate and evil contentment.

Inside I hold the secrets

of whom only one person knows nearly all.

There is only one secret left.

How guilty am I

that I told someone else first.

That one secret

is the secret to my heart

the one that will break me

the one that could save me

the one that will surely make me cry

until I am blind

and am no longer able to see the sun

Who am I

that I can call myself who I am

and be happy with it

without another thought?

God is the reason for where and who I am

why do I take it all the glory and praise?

I should be a beggar

living on the street

watching as I go by

with a glance and a smile

wishing I was myself.

Love can be such a burden

love can be the cause of so much pain

but it is also the remedy to many things

like a broken heart in vain

There was never a time

where I was completely happy with myself

but there was a time

where I was truely happy with the world

and the chances before me

and the people beside me

and God protecting me

and my family supporting me

and my friends at my side

doing it with me.

But that generation is coming to a close

the generation is expected to go higher

the generation is expecting their leaders to step up

what if we weren't ready?

what if we had not been ready for all the struggles that were to come?

Why didn't anyone tell me the horrors

the pains

the sadness

the stress

the craziness

the lack of easiness

the loss of words

the anger

the hatred

the passionate rage

that I was to face?

Why didn't anyone tell me?

I'm just so lost

wandering off into the distance of my mind

lost in my thoughts

and the pictures of death that could possible

forsaken me.

My eyes are just so tired

from the saltiness

that fell from it

from that stupid Saturday

and today.

I'm very glad I went on Saturday

though I cried when I told myself that I would be strong

and ended crying on the bed

because I don't get many chances to see her.

and I'll be so sad.

When she is finally with God.

older posts... http://tigerpolarbearluver4eva.spaces.live.com/default.aspx?partner=wlhomepage&link=YourSpace

If anyone is feeling curious, go check out my old blog, only the last 3 are actually like meaningful and junks.

  plus you get to see my little stalker story. woo??=P....=_=

The link is in the title box!

(you have to copy paste it^=^; sorry...)

go and see, if you want! but ignore everything before september, because it's just really junk and nonsense DO NOT GO!

(somehow I have a feeling you will anyway...)

~Christina~

Media Arts

yea...I gotta be simplier. ToT my effort to put in more? Xo

I feel so soksanghae and so dapdaphae and ......what was disappointed? soulhanghae? or was that cheesy?

I had a fun conversation with Esther Jeon yesterday, and it went kinda like this..

na neun shim shim hae

na doo shim shim ha da.

moe hal ga?

ahh ya! oppa neun nuh moo cool!

and then I had to go. lol.

it's funny how fast conversation moves on msn, but how slow things go in real life, like orally.

oh poooooop and thank God! time is up! no one gets to see my powerpoint and photoshop! woooooooo!

Class is next, so i g2g nowT-T

chilllz!

Hey hey

so this is the lovely half day today....

woooooottt only 2 hours left!!!!

and there's about 10 minutes in this class........

There is probably no way that people read this nowadays, with school, unless my uhh...companion is deciding to go all out and is reading this right now.....

extreme-ness of the fact that I am just too tired is amazing. hm. 

I'mma go back and read more comics now, basically because this is a free period^^

choww

If you didn't know, being 15 STILL sucks.

So, again, I state for the third time though it's the first here...

Being 15 sucks. (x3)

But I'm feeling better, and less stressed out=) School is getting more intense, though I think I should get more into the system as ever, but my schedule, in and out of school, are still working out some kinks...

I feel so much more....mature-ish than what I was only last year. I look back and I say things about how I could've done so much better and this and that... and how much I wish I could've known how to keep in contact with my elementary school friends..

Many people are stressed out nowadays, with them freaking out, sleeping, or going crazy....
mostly the grade 12s sooo

Good luck!!!!!!!<3

There is really nothing for me to talk about right now, but when something comes up, you'll be first to know!