it's great to know that there are other people who can relate and pray and support you, but it sucks in another way because no one else understands and even if you tell them they'll give you the "im sorry" crap.
Like they will ever know what it's like. Then they will yell at you"it happened to me too" Then give me EMPATHY and sympathy you bakano-poo.
because I am just so jumbled, I think I'll write another free-verse/lyric? I don't care...
It was just another Saturday
going downtown
just driving away
There was nothing wrong with me
but then what the heck happened
why am i like this now
it's all Saturday's fault.
truely, the fault is thine.
Saturday was just ordinary
nothing was really going on
but then it happened
and I cried all night long
on the inside, as my tears poured out of my eyes
nothing in that place could cure me
for what that's worth
In that place
it's still hard to call it home
so many times I've tried and wanted to run away
can it really be my home that way?
So many people frustrate me
and others just make my sad
but none of those experiences
can add up for this demise.
Also in that place
there are many whom I love
and care for
and would pray with all my heart to
just so they would smile
there is also them
who lift up my gloomy day
But then how is it that I
am just weary and mad?
how is it that I can be
so cruel and mean
so selfish and prideful
and still proclaim to be who I am supposed to be?
No one on this earth can save me
only the one above can lift me from the ground
Let Him be the one
to guide someone else
to save my life.
Inside I am dying.
Inside I am breaking.
Inside I hide all the pain.
Inside I bear all the looks
of hate and evil contentment.
Inside I hold the secrets
of whom only one person knows nearly all.
There is only one secret left.
How guilty am I
that I told someone else first.
That one secret
is the secret to my heart
the one that will break me
the one that could save me
the one that will surely make me cry
until I am blind
and am no longer able to see the sun
Who am I
that I can call myself who I am
and be happy with it
without another thought?
God is the reason for where and who I am
why do I take it all the glory and praise?
I should be a beggar
living on the street
watching as I go by
with a glance and a smile
wishing I was myself.
Love can be such a burden
love can be the cause of so much pain
but it is also the remedy to many things
like a broken heart in vain
There was never a time
where I was completely happy with myself
but there was a time
where I was truely happy with the world
and the chances before me
and the people beside me
and God protecting me
and my family supporting me
and my friends at my side
doing it with me.
But that generation is coming to a close
the generation is expected to go higher
the generation is expecting their leaders to step up
what if we weren't ready?
what if we had not been ready for all the struggles that were to come?
Why didn't anyone tell me the horrors
the pains
the sadness
the stress
the craziness
the lack of easiness
the loss of words
the anger
the hatred
the passionate rage
that I was to face?
Why didn't anyone tell me?
I'm just so lost
wandering off into the distance of my mind
lost in my thoughts
and the pictures of death that could possible
forsaken me.
My eyes are just so tired
from the saltiness
that fell from it
from that stupid Saturday
and today.
I'm very glad I went on Saturday
though I cried when I told myself that I would be strong
and ended crying on the bed
because I don't get many chances to see her.
and I'll be so sad.
When she is finally with God.
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